As many couples find out the hard way, the spark that led to them falling in love and getting married doesn’t always last forever.
Should you find yourself in such a scenario, you typically have three options:
Work on repairing the relationship.
File for divorce.
Give a marital partnership or co-parenting a try.
While splitting up is difficult for any couple, it’s much harder when kids are in the picture because of the way they might respond to the situation. It’s not uncommon, for example, for some children to think that they themselves are the reason their parents are getting divorced.
To be sure, divorce is definitely warranted in some cases — particularly if you’re keen on dissolving legal bonds with your spouse. If you simply can’t get along with your partner any longer, you may be better off divorcing so that you don’t expose your kids to chronic conflict, which can have disastrous effects on their development.
That said, a clear-cut divorce isn’t always the best option. To give their children the love and support they need to grow up to be healthy, contributing members of society, more and more couples are embracing alternative approaches to parenthood.
Is it advisable for divorced parents to stay together?
According to the New York Times, divorce rates have been on a downward trend of late. On one hand, this is due to the uncertainty of the pandemic, as couples decide to weather the storm together. On the other, it’s because more and more parents are pursuing more modern types of relationships, including marital partnerships and co-parenting agreements.
Marital partnerships
Also known as a parenting marriage, a marital partnership is a non-romantic marriage where the parents stay together and live as a family for the sake of their children. From the outside, a parenting marriage looks exactly the same as a traditional marriage. When you’re in a parenting marriage, you still go out to dinner and the movies together as a family, for example.
Though they are difficult for both spouses, marital partnerships deliver a number of benefits to children. Not only do they ensure kids have a consistent, stable upbringing, but they also ensure that both parents are present during important activities and events.
Living as co-parents
Of course, living with someone you’re no longer in love with doesn’t necessarily appeal to everyone. Depending on the circumstances leading to the split, it might not even be worth it to even try.
In these circumstances, it’s still possible to maintain a healthy, civil relationship with your spouse after a divorce by embracing a concept called co-parenting, which is also known as platonic parenting.
As the name suggests, platonic parenting is the process of two parents coming together amicably to raise their kids together. While parents might get legally divorced and live in different places, they both raise their kids together, seeing each other often in both public and private settings. This provides the stability and continuity kids need to lead healthy lives.
Co-parenting is not without its challenges. Chief among them is the fact that co-parents need to be respectful to each other at all times and never disparage their ex in front of their kids. But with the right approach to co-parenting, you can teach your kids great lessons about constructive problem-solving and how to communicate effectively while also reducing the stress and anxiety that would result from a more significant split. A good co-parenting plan should always be about putting the children’s needs first and making sure that the child’s happiness is the top priority for both of you. This will make the best out of a tough situation and allow your child to grow up in a happier, healthier environment.
Co-parenting is not for everyone – but it can be beneficial if both parents are committed to doing what’s best for their children and capable of setting aside personal differences and frustrations. It’s certainly far better than exposing kids to the lifelong stress and chaos of a nasty divorce. Divorced parents should always see a family therapist before they start their co-parenting partnership because professional advice is always a key to a cooperative relationship.
Joint custody
Joint custody on the other hand is when parents of the child lice in separate homes and they ensure that the interest of the child/children is always the focal point and their decision making should be in the best interest of the child/children, not their own emotions. In this relationship, the former spouses adjust to their new chapter but they always do impossible tasks together without any negative feelings and tackle any issues affecting the child as a united front. With respect to the other co-parent or the ex-partner is the key to effective co-parenting as this ensures well-being and healthy children. In case of a new relationship, the former spouse should always tell the ex-partner so as to avoid negative emotions between the two and random surprises during child drop-offs.
It is important for both you and your ex-spouse to adapt to any circumstances change that affect the child, the other parent should be willing to compromise so as to avoid any legal action being taken. There are countless benefits to joint custody and it has been proven that children who have joint custody with both of their parents fair better in life than those who don’t. If you want what is best for your child, then joint custody is the best option for you and your family.
When making the decision to divorce, many people consider their children and how the split will affect them. While there are certainly some good reasons to divorce, there are also many situations where it might not be in the best interests of the children. Depending on the age of the children, a nasty, drawn-out divorce could do more harm than good. Children are often forced to take sides or endure constant guilt-tripping from one of the parents, which is why it’s important to explore all options before making your final decision.
Some parents make arrangements for joint custody or co-parenting without formalizing them in writing. This can be a recipe for disaster because expectations are often not clear and there can be an avalanche of problems that arise between
If you’re considering any of the above relationships options, it’s important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can help you draft a parenting plan that meets your needs and the needs of your children.
Tips for a successful co-parenting relationship
Not all relationships are good enough to survive a divorce, but that doesn’t mean you have to ruin your kids lives in the process. By embracing one of the more modern types of parenting, you can ensure your children grow up with two parents who care deeply about them.
1. Communicate well
Above all else, co-parents need to communicate effectively with each other. This means being respectful, honest, and open with your feelings at all times. When you have a disagreement, try to talk it out in a constructive way. If you can’t resolve the issue yourself, get help from a third party.
2. Set rules and boundaries
It’s also important to set rules and boundaries for your co-parenting relationship. This will help keep things running smoothly and prevent any misunderstandings. Agree on things like how often you will see each other, what type of communication is acceptable, and how you will handle disagreements.
3. Stick to a schedule
Kids need stability and consistency, which are provided best by a schedule. You can set one up together or independently. Be sure to stick to it as much as possible, especially when it comes to holidays and birthdays.
4. Maintain separate lives
While it’s important to spend time together as co-parents, it’s also important to have separate lives. This will help reduce tension and give each of you some needed space. Have your own hobbies, friends, and activities that you do outside of your co-parenting relationship.
5. Don’t badmouth your ex
One of the most important rules of co-parenting is to never badmouth your ex in front of your kids. This will only make them feel caught in the middle and could damage their relationship with one or both of their parents. Remember that you are still a team when it comes to parenting, no matter what else is going on in your life.
Living as co-parents after a divorce can be difficult, but it’s worth it for the sake of your kids. By following these tips, you can create a healthy and productive co-parenting relationship that will benefit your entire family.
What kids need from their parents
At the end of the day, whether you decide to work on your marriage, try a parenting marriage, or become co-parents ultimately is not all that important. What matters most is that you are able to give your kids the childhood they deserve.
Whatever approach you take, it’s important to keep your kids safe, listen to them and spend time with them, and provide affection, order, and consistency. You also need to set and enforce limits, understand how your children spend their free time, and stay on top of any medical and mental health concerns.
If you’re in a hard place in your relationship and don’t know what to do, all hope isn’t lost. Talking to a therapist can help you figure out the best path forward. The right therapist will be able to help you determine what you want, what aligns with your values, and how to make it happen in a healthy way that doesn’t hurt your children.
A good co-parenting plan should always be monitoring the child’s mental health and if it is being compromised in any way. The mental health of a child can be affected by both parents and through more avenues than one can imagine. A co-parenting plan should always ensure that the mental health of children is good and taken care of in any way possible.
Child Support & Visitation
Kids of divorce need financial support too
One of the most common reasons for visitation disputes is whether or not child support is being paid. While this can be a contentious issue, there are steps parents can take to make it easier on both parties and their kids. If you’re having trouble with child support, a mediator can help negotiate a new agreement between you and your ex-spouse that is beneficial for everyone involved.
Even if one or both parents is not receiving any child support, it’s still important that they have a relationship with the other parent. Children need both of their parents in their lives and no amount of money can compensate for a lack of time spent with them.
The subject of visitation may be difficult to discuss at first, but it should always be part of any co-parenting agreement. Parents should make a schedule that outlines when each parent will have their child and stick to it as much as possible. This will help reduce tension and ensure that the child has a stable home life.
It is not uncommon for parents to have disagreements about visitation, but it’s important to remember that the well-being of the child is what’s most important. If a parent makes an issue about visitation, a mediator can help them work through it so that they can come to a solution for everyone involved.
Because both parties have children together, it is imperative to have a well-written co-parenting plan in place before going through with any divorce. If the plan is not well thought out it can lead to problems later on when trying to co-parent, which can have a detrimental effect on the children of the marriage.
One issue that needs to be handled delicately is infidelity. Often, one parent will use an affair as an excuse for why they are leaving the other partner. This is not in the best interest of children, who want both parents involved in their lives. If you are concerned that your ex-partner may use this to take full custody of your children, speak with an attorney about what you can do to prevent it from happening.
This co-parenting plan should be something both parties fully agree to, in order for it to be successful. If one parent wants sole custody but the other does not, then that is not in the best interests of children. A plan needs to be in place that benefits everyone involved in order for it to work properly.
The divorce process can leave both parties feeling hurt and hopeless. But if they are willing to look past their differences, they can come together to co-parent the children that they share. Mediation is a good way for both parents to communicate with each other and work out all of the issues that are at hand. If you have children, it’s always best to find an attorney who specializes in family law so that they can ensure the child is in safe hands.
The decision to end a marriage is never easy, but it can be even harder when you have children. Thankfully, there are more options than ever before for parents who want to stay together. Co-parenting after a divorce can be difficult, but with the right tools it can be a
Business partnership and divorces
A business partnership might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but it can quickly turn sour once you learn more about your partner. Before making any hasty decisions or walking away from your business entirely, consider other alternatives that might be available to you.
When the problems are serious enough that you no longer want any part of the relationship, it may be time to separate and pursue other opportunities. If you didn’t sign any agreements on how this would work, having a lawyer negotiate with your partner’s lawyer can help protect your interests while ensuring that the process is as smooth as possible.
Well adjusted co-parents that are interested in the greater sense of making sure that the children have a good family life like other children who live in one roof with their parents will try their very best at co-parenting no matter what.
There are divorces and separations that take place every day. They are usually messy, bitter, and can have a long-lasting effect on the children involved. One of the parents may even move away to get as far away from the other parent as possible. It is important to remember that both parents need to work together for the sake of their children.
Children deserve the best chance at a happy and healthy future, and this begins with co-parenting as you create new lives apart from one another. It may not be easy, but it is worth it in the long run.
Living as co-parents after a divorce can be difficult, but it’s worth it for the sake of your kids. By following these tips, you can create a healthy and productive co-parenting relationship that will benefit your entire family.
Co-parenting is not easy, even when you have a good relationship with your ex. Some parents try to do things on their own by creating schedules that work for them and their children, but this can lead to problems further down the line.
